Four words made me decide to start this blog. Those four words are the title of this post; words spoken by a stranger that pulled at my heart. Let me begin with how I ended up sitting behind this computer, writing to people I do not know, for reasons I am not quite sure of yet. Yesterday my husband (Ryan) and I went to a local Christian bookstore on a whim. As we walked around it was obvious that our 18-month old daughter (Reagan) had no desire to be a good little girl. She wanted to pull books off of shelves and run around as though this store was her own personal playground. As most young toddlers do she became very upset when her Dad and I would tell her no when her behavior was getting out of control. I eventually walked to another area of the store as Ryan chased after our little one. At one point I realized that I no longer heard Reagan screaming so I started to look for my two most favorite people (because obviously something must be wrong). I found Ryan holding a very quiet and well-behaved Reagan at the back of the store talking to one of the women who worked there. I walked up and gave Reagan a big kiss and introduced myself to the woman. Since I am almost eight months pregnant it is understandable that she would comment on the fact that I am pregnant. She then mentioned that she is also pregnant (due in February) with her third child. As we continued to talk about children and life she said that her two older children are two years old and 15-months old. Ryan asked her what it was like to have them all so close together and she expressed how it was difficult at first, but she eventually got into a routine. As the minutes went on we decided that we should let this nice woman get back to work so we continued to wander throughout the store. A minute or two later I heard the woman's voice say "you are not supermom". I turned around to realize that she was talking to me. I was kind of caught off guard and I said something ridiculous about how I would try. She then said that my husband and I needed to make sure that we made time for date nights.
It was not until we got back home that night that I realized why that woman had offered me that bit of advice. Normally I do not take advice well. I am not sure why this is, maybe it is because I think I can be supermom, super wife, super student, super, well, everything to everyone. I really got to thinking about what she said to me and had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot be supermom. I have to understand that I will make mistakes when it comes to raising my children and that I cannot tear myself down to nothing every time that I do. I have to take time for myself and not feel guilty about this. I have to make time for my husband and make our marriage a priority, as it is, it is our love that brought us our children and without it, we would not have them. I have to make a relationship with God a priority and let go of past mistakes and pain. Most importantly, I realized that if I do not love and respect myself, I will never be able to teach my daughters how to love and respect themselves, as well as how to expect that from other people. I am not sure how I got all of this out of four simple words, but I know that the woman at that bookstore crossed my path for a reason. Her words were words that I needed to hear at that moment.
As I finish up this inaugural post, I have no idea where I am going to take this blog. I want to share with anyone who wishes to read the struggles and triumphs that I have gone through to get me to where I am in my life. I have had to go through dark times to get to the light and I continue to struggle with faith and accepting grace. If you only read this one post, I hope that it has touched your heart in some way. If you are a mom remember that you cannot be supermom.